Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
