David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
