I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Randomize
