i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
