he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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