it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
i think i have two assholes
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
