Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
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