Don't you send me to vm
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
