but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
