why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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