if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
