It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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