She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
