Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
