Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize