i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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