Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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