i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
