Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
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