White coat. Heels.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
