My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
