Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
