We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
