No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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