hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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