They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
