**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
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