couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
