just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize