Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
i believe in u and ur pee
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
