ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
