TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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