I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
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