I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
