My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
