i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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