Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
just tell him i said nine months
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Randomize
