I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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