I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
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