a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
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