she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
