I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
