Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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