I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
