Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
