god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
if only i could text you this smell
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
