Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I feel like abortions should bother me more
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
the liver wants what the liver wants
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Randomize
