OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize
