hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I have aggressive nipples.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
