i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
