And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
We're not piercing ourselves today.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
