do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Randomize
