I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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