I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
