Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
