well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
