When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
