thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
