apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize