you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
