just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
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