Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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