I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
i think im in europe. pls send help
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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