Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
no you cant smoke seaweed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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