one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
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The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
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I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
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