i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
