Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
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