I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
He passed out mid-signature
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
