I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
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So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
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Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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