Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Randomize
