so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
now i know why i became what i already was.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
we're so committed to being not committed
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
