Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I will pee on everything he values.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Randomize