awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
